2017-11-30 / Guest Column

Living With Loss

By Michael Feld, L.C.S.W.
Certified Psychoanalyst
Licensed Psychotherapist

One of the most difficult things for any of us to do is to let go. I’m speaking of letting go in every and any sense. This includes accepting the losses we encounter throughout life. All of us, if we live long enough, lose our health. Some of us sooner than later. Others among us lose our ability to function fully, either mentally or physically, as well as we did in earlier years. As we ourselves age, and are confronted with the obstacles of getting older, we lose friends and family to illness and death. Surviving under such conditions is always trying, and often causes us to feel depressed, hopeless, frightened and anxious.

Life, with all its wonder, obstacles, pleasure and pain forces us to constantly readjust by developing coping skills to accommodate our perpetually changing situation. We are often required to be quite flexible and creative in our learning to deal with the various arduous and painful changes we experience during our life’s journey.

Sometimes we have difficulty making the necessary changes to continue through our course. We become overwhelmed with the pain of our losses, and feel we are unable to cope. During such periods, we forget that we do have a mission, a purpose. This purpose is to live, and continue until we genuinely no longer can. This is so because each of us is separate and unique in the contribution we make to life, and the people we touch during our lives. I believe we each have a responsibility to live our lives fully. To benefit in any way we can, and to contribute. This process of benefiting for ourselves, and contributing to our growth and the growth of others, requires our accepting the responsibility of our separateness. Although we need to live in intimacy with others, we also need to recognize our separateness. In recognizing our separateness, we are being intimate with ourselves. In knowing, accepting and loving our separateness, we find the strength to continue until our own time comes. Sometimes we suffer much pain in experiencing the losses and separations of life, but we always stay the course, learning with each separation. When help is needed, we avail ourselves of psychoanalytic psychotherapy in our effort to find our own unique, special and separate way to continue growing through life.

Prepared as a public service from the office of Psychotherapist Michael Feld, L.C. S.W. (347) 248-1092

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