2010-04-08 / View From the Middle

View From The Middle

Brainless Republicans Should Hold Meetings At Sex Club
By Charles Rogers

Nowadays, when you think of conservatives, you generally swing your thoughts to the Republican Party. It’s a natural inclination, really, mainly because of that supposedly “straight and narrow,” unbending persona put there by those opposed to it: liberal Democrats. Now, that’s not a castigation; it’s more of just another definition. Democrats are liberal; Republicans are conservative. As non-semanticists say, “It is what it is.”

Lately, when thinking about the right-leaning conservatives, we’re generally looking at those who are, supposedly, of a more stoic nature, one would think, especially now when they just lost the Battle of Obamacare. The vision is of them sulking and skulking around with their heads hanging below their shoulders. Oh, they were loud enough when it came to losing the healthcare race two weeks ago, yelling and throwing things and acting like spoiled brats as if their toys had been taken away. They were filled with loud, teeth-gnashing outrage, citing, mostly, the trillion-some-odd dollars it’s going to cost ten years from now.

“Why, I’ll….I’ll…” is about all you could hear them say (they never quite finished the sentence).

Talk about accepting defeat graciously! Let’s just say the GOP officials were not too happy at this point, especially when they heard their high muckymuck congresspersons yelling epithets and calling their former pals on the other side of the aisle every name in the book, as well as some names the book was too embarrassed to print.

“Why, I’ll….I’ll…

The Dems finally put the knife in deep AND TURNED IT when they brought out a little nugget fed to them by a small internet media outfit citing an occasion three months ago explaining how the GOP had been wasting money on everything from the most expensive hotels to the most expensive private airplanes and a $1,946 — everybody knows by now — little trip to a sex-themed nightclub where lesbians were doing more than shaking hands with each other and the main event was entitled “Bondage As We Know It.”

Say, WHAT?

Now, not being against visiting a sex-themed ANYTHING (anytime-anywhere), I wouldn’t be too upset under normal circumstances. I mean, I’m willing to allow myself to be as bodacious as the next guy (as long as the next guy is a girl!) and let it be at that. Men can make idiots of themselves any way they want, as long as they don’t rock the boat, cheat or steal in the process.

Oops! Did I say cheat; steal? I didn’t mean to imply….

Anyway, the Democratic Party people got hold of the story and out came the headlines that the Republican Party had spent $2,000 on a party at a sex club. Oh, it later came out that a GOP donor paid the tab and, get this, the head of the GOP, Michael Steele, allegedly okayed paying the donor back from their coffers. Steele later fired the person who originated and set up the event.

The Democrats, which had just won the healthcare debate and which had pulled out all stops to make the Republicans look horrible, however, apparently went too far. While trying to dig more dirt on the GOP, the GOP was digging dirt on them! They should have let the episode take its own course, burying that Grand Old Party. After all, this was the party that presumed themselves to be “above it all,” idealizing Eisenhower and Taft, et al. How could this be?

It’s called “a lack of thinking-ism.” Even at their lowest points where the Dems overwhelmed them in both houses of Congress, they failed to look at the big picture. It almost seemed they were asking themselves: “How can we lower our prestige a few notches?.... I have it! We’ll get someone to donate $2,000 and go to a sex house!”

Meanwhile, we all know the Democrats have been doing similar things. It’s just that they haven’t been caught — yet. You can bet that, although the Republicans apparently are a few furlongs short in the brains department, they’ve got their spies out in full force — and they’re ready to ATTACK!

November’s going to be sooo much fun!

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