View From The Middle
There's Some Hope For Our Precocious Kids After All
By Charles Rogers

I'm polite. My mother and father brought me up to be considerate of and to others. I will hold a door open and let a lady pass almost to a fault. If there are more than one or two ladies - of any age - waiting, even though others may be trying to take advantage of the effort, I will continue holding the door. I will also hold the same door for a man, should he be older than I (or if I can find one older than I).

I will hold my voice down if I know someone is in the next room asleep or perhaps awake and quietly communing with nature. Quietude is to be revered, awake or asleep.

I was taught as a child to properly place my knife and fork and other accoutrements of dinnerware on the right or left of the plate or plates on our huge mahogany dining room table, either adjacent to or on top of the white lace doilies.

I admit I'm also not in the least bit modest when it comes to my own politeness and general etiquette. The philosophy, therefore, becomes a matter of admitting that when a person is correct, he or she is correct. Period! Some call it stubborness.

An' anyone who wants ta call me on dat is gonna get a punch in da mout', whether at the dinner table or outside.

(Oops! I admit I slip now and then).

Anyway, what brings on this gigantic ego trip is my observance of the politeness of others. Modesty notwithstanding, as I try to catch myself attempting to adhere to the code of social graces, I am surprised lately to see some politeness in youngsters. Yes, KIDS! Those usually loud, usually boisterous, usually uncouth, usually unkempt young people to whom we would never admit in front of anyone that we have a relationship. I have lately actually seen one or two being polite and (get this!) considerate.

Recently, I attended a small Sunday afternoon party for a fellow worker. She has a sister who is six years old and, thanks to the attentiveness of her parents (and sister, I suppose) and whoever else was thoughtful enough to have seen her potential intelligence, I must say I haven't seen such politeness in a child for many years.

For instance, just before my host got up from a group of six of us sitting around talking, the six-year-old whispered to her older sibling that perhaps the guests might want some "repast" and something to "wash it down with," like coffee or tea.

The child intimated that the mere thought that the guests might have been slighted - for even a moment - was unconscionable! Her sister (the hostess) immediately asked who wanted coffee, tea or "anything else," received the order and, followed by the younger girl, proceeded to the kitchen to prepare the food. The series of polite gestures immediately suggested to me how important upbringing can be, especially if it is a part of everyday life - from a young age.

As I left the house, the little girl was outside with another couple of youngsters of the same age and she promptly introduced me to her friends, accompanying me to each one individually and making sure we shook hands as part of our greeting ritual.

Obviously, I was impressed. And it prompted me to take another look at this politeness thing with young people around the community. It either must be contagious or I'm just beginning to wake up: I saw a group of teenagers hold a door for a lady carrying groceries. I saw a teenage boy actually remove his baseball cap (it had been on backwards!) when he sat down to eat at Burger King. I saw a student pick up what appeared to be a textbook - with real writing in it - and start to read, although she was carrying a bunch of magazines at the time.

Believe it or not, I was going to the bank the other day and a 16-year-old ( about that age, anyway) held the door open for me and when I said, "Thank you," he nonchalantly said, "You're welcome."

I swear, I almost turned around and chastised him for being arrogant and a smart guy and, "You'd better watch who you're talking to that way young man. I won't…..I wo…I…."

I said I almost chastised him. Now I know better.

How refreshing it is to hear some actual wholesome language and see some positive actions coming from those who are perhaps too often looked down upon or ignored. A few of us grownups were in a relative kaffeeklatsch the other day talking politics, I think, when we were joined by two obvious teenagers who, after all, contributed to the forum. They actually had something to say and gave a positive, contributing viewpoint to the conversation.

Again, how refreshing!

There is hope.