View From The Middle
Now That I'm Rich, I Can Throw Caution To The Wind!
By Charles Rogers

I'm rich! I'm soooo rich! I was thinking about running to Aqueduct or Las Vegas or Atlantic City or to a place with an exotic, Native American name in the far reaches of Connecticut and placing a bet, but I don't have to do that.

Because I've gotten rich without them!

Here's the deal: The other day, I received a letter from a guy in Nigeria telling me I have been chosen to assist him in repatriating money and property left by a deceased American client of his so he can deposit $20 million into the account of the deceased man. You see, my new pen pal says the money can't be deposited in Nigeria because it's in American dollars - cash. He says he's tried and tried to find relatives of the man for six years and has been unsuccessful. "Hence," he says, "I'm contacting you for assistance, otherwise the bank in Nigeria will 'confiscate' the money." In other words, he wants me to deposit the $20 million in my personal account for him.

I'll be glad to!

For this small effort (no big deal at all for me!), I get to receive - for my "honest assistance and cooperation," - a full 35% of the total sum. I'm also supposed to receive 5% for any expenses that might come up or be needed for the transfer of the cash and 20% for the bank manager, who apparently knows about the situation. My pal will keep 40% for himself, he says, which sounds fair enough to me because, heck, he started the whole thing and I think he deserves it. He wants me to get back to him ASAP by fax, giving him all sorts of information, of course, like phone numbers, company names, and a little background on myself, which I will do post-haste. I think it would be a good idea to give him my bank account number too. Now's not the time to be bashful - especially when $20 mill is involved.

Now, I'm no sucker! I wouldn't do this if he didn't assure me that the deal is all on the up-and-up. After all, he says he has all the necessary legal documents that will be used to back up claims from the bank. "I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you and I from any breach of the law," he says - very sincerely, I might add. I hope he doesn't mind that I wanted to share my good fortune with you, even if he asked me to "please keep it very secret and confidential." I'm safe there because I didn't give any names.

You think that was a lucky break? Two days after I got the above letter, I received an e-mail from the Bank of Central Nigeria Foreign Payment Department notifying me of the joint resolution between the government and the Federal Ministry of Finance that they are releasing to me $3.5 million "as an accrued interest on a contract payment with the Federal Government of Nigeria."

Is that cool, or what? Frankly, I don't remember any "contract," but there was indeed a lot of intrigue when I was there a number of years ago. As a matter of fact, I might have agreed to something or other one night when I went bar-hopping with my friend Jack Daniels; a night about which I remember very little.

The letter says I'll need to forward $750 as a set up fee so they can make a "non-resident domiciliary" account in their bank and make a deposit - in my name - of the $3.5 million into the Federal Reserve Vault here. They say that's the only obligation I'll have: the $750 set up fee because it is of "high importance" so they can activate my account and transfer the money into it. You don't think they're trying something funny with me just to get my $750, do you?

I don't either.

And testament to that, plus what is obviously a great week for me, is another letter received this week - this time from Australia - where a bank's Compensation Head Officer, who says he's an old friend of mine and with whom I made an investment many years ago, says he has signed an International Cashier's Bank Draft to the tune of $500,000 over to me. He says it is "in compensation to my dedication, humanity and contribution, as it were." That's nice.

And get this (I'll tell ya, it's a small world!): he said I have to go to a bank in NIGERIA to pick up the check! Talk about coincidences!

I think this is the week I'll actually quit my job and buy a Lotto ticket.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know. If you don't see me around any more, it's because I was last seen standing on my desk - giving an opinion - just before boarding a cruise liner to Australia.

Or maybe I'll go to Nigeria instead.