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This Week's Attitude
Maybe Hilton's finally learned that real life is more demanding than her "Simple Life" reality show or even her own pampered real life. Shortly after last week's Courier arrived on newsstands it was reported that poor skinny rich Paris Hilton - the subject of my last column - had her sentence modified to 40 days confinement at home (that's mansion detention) with an ankle bracelet, instead of 20 more days in a suburban Los Angeles County jail, due to an undisclosed "psychological condition," according to the sheriff's office. Actually, no specific medical situation was ever issued to justify her abrupt change of confinement, but it was rumored she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. However, she may actually have been suffering from alcohol dependence withdrawal. After all, Hilton's been known to have more than a few drinks as she club hops several nights a week, which was evident when she was stopped twice for DUI in less than six months that led to her legal dilemma. When it was announced Prisoner No. 981878's incarceration would change from a 12'x8' jail cell to a $3 million mansion, it caused an immediate and livid reaction from L.A. County prosecutors who were, to say the least, shocked by Sheriff Lee Baca's arbitrary decision. They just don't make contemporary sheriffs like they did in the Old West. That guy probably won't get elected dogcatcher next time he runs for office. It was subsequently reported Baca was a recipient of a modest campaign contribution from Hilton's grandfather. It was also pointed out he is acquainted with many Hollywood celebrities, which, naturally, comes with the post. But, justice prevailed as she was sent back to the pokey last Friday when an angry judge, who has never received any report about Hilton's "medical problem," rescinded the abruptly amended sentence and ordered the hotel heiress to complete the original judgment. No sooner did Hilton resume her DUI sentence than the 26-year-old revealed she found God in jail. Reportedly, she approached Him and asked, "What are you in for?" Before her return to jail, Hilton was still under the impression she would get preferential treatment. Hilton was late for last Friday morning's hearing because she assumed she could participate by telephone! (Where the heck was her well-paid, three-person legal team?) The judge quickly dispatched deputies to escort Hilton to court where an annoyed Judge Sauer subsequently pronounced that the county jail's medical facilities could adequately treat Hilton's maladies and reinstated her original sentence. To recap- for those who care diddlysquat about trivial, rather than significant, matters: Hilton's ordeal began nine months ago when she failed a sobriety test after police officers stopped for reckless driving. She pleaded no contest but was placed on three years probation and fined. Last January, Hilton was sentenced to 45 days for violating her probation after police stopped her two more times for driving with a suspended license. She surrendered on June 3rd, a day early, to begin her sentence. The celebutante, another term the tabloids use for her nowadays, was expected to serve only 23 days - half the original sentence plus a day - because of rules allowing shorter terms for good behavior. Her lawyer told reporters after seeing Hilton during her first day inside, "She's using this time to reflect on her life, to see what she can do to make the world better and hopefully, in my opinion, to change the attitudes that exist about her among many people." I'm still laughing. Can you imagine Paris Hilton making the world better for anyone or anything - except maybe her pet Chihuahua? Kathy Hilton told the media, through a spokesperson, that she believed while her daughter was in jail she could "take advantage of time away from the spotlight." Hilton will have no choice, since she'll spend about 23 hours a day in her cell, being allowed out for at least an hour each day to shower, watch TV in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone. No cell phones or other electronic devices are permitted in the facility. As was evident by her emotional outburst when she was led back to jail, being away from the spotlight - and easy living - obviously caused Hilton's "medical" condition. But by day three, she was suddenly issued a "Get Out of Jail Free" card because her doctors told jail officials she was experiencing some medical trauma. (Is lack of room service a trauma?) Hilton apparently preferred some Beverly Hills doctor, who caters to wealthy clientele, to cure what ails her, rather than some civil servant physician. The entire Hilton affair is the ultimate illustration of celebrity justice. It also demonstrated how some of the rich, famous and coddled - led by a team of slick lawyers - think they may be entitled to preferential treatment, while average and indigent defendants tend to face the system with less qualified or legal aid attorneys. Paris Hilton should have talked to Martha Stewart before going to jail. She might have gotten sound advice from someone who served her sentence with grace and dignity, despite her lofty social standing. One of the most infuriating forecasts for the latest Hilton saga is that when her sentence is complete she is expected to make millions from recounting her ordeal with the law. For the privileged, spoiled socialite to make a profit from her crimes - albeit victimless - is a disgrace. Maybe the next time she gets in trouble with the law she'll remember that the "Get Out of Jail Free" card is only valid when you're playing the board game Monopoly - not the simple life.
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