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COUNSELING CORNER It certainly isn't news that relationships take work. We've all been told that we have to put effort into keeping a romantic relationship fresh and interesting. But too often we get wrapped up in our busy lives and end up ignoring our significant other or taking him or her for granted. To fix that problem, you might try a more organized approach for keeping the romance in a relationship, not unlike the way you probably handle your busy day at the office or managing a household. It may sound more business-like than romantic, but relationship maintenance can actually be very enjoyable. Start with your day planner, PDA or regular old calendar. Schedule events for your relationship, just like you do meetings or appointments. Note special days beyond the usual birthay and anniversary dates. Maybe the day you first met, or the anniversary of a special vacation. Include random prompts to do something romantic at other times for no special reason. Similarly, keep an intelligence file on your partner. Make a list of favorite things, from wines to flowers to authors to movies. It's not only a way to stay more in tune with each other, but can make gift giving more special and meaningful. You also want to create a regular schedule for time together. If that orthodontist or gym trainer deserves a set appointment each week, why not your romantic partner? Your date night doesn't have to be a fancy night out, just a time when the two of you can reconnect and get beyond the daily minutia that fills up so much of our lives. Also try setting a regular, daily meeting time. Maybe it's just fifteen minutes at the beginning or end of the day, but make it happen every day. Find out what your partner has been up to, what's gone right or wrong, and what's being planned. Stay connected with each other. If your romantic relationship has started to feel stale and boring, realize it won't just fix itself. Put some thought and effort into doing things that will bring the romance back. If you need extra help, check the yellow pages for counselors who specialize in relationship or couples counseling. Giving a relationship the work and attention it deserves can pay you back with a lifetime of companionship, happiness and love. "The Counseling Corner" is provided as a public service by the American Counseling Association, the nation's largest organization of counseling professionals. Learn more about the counseling profession at the ACA Web site, www.counseling.org .
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