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COUNSELING CORNER Tis the season for hearts, flowers and warm, fuzzy sentiments about love. But despite all the ads and articles about making Valentine's Day special, it's also a time of the year when many relationships end. The increased focus on romance can lead some to look closely at a current romantic relationship and decide it's not the right one. When that happens, and someone you thought would love you forever is suddenly walking out the door, it can be a shattering experience. The sudden ending of a romantic relationship can leave you feeling not just alone, but abandoned and unlovable. You might feel as if your life can never be the same and that the pain you're feeling will never go away. While there is no instant cure for a broken heart, there are steps you can take to make the hurt less painful. Start by accepting that you've suffered a loss, not dissimilar to the death of someone close to you. Don't feel guilty for naturally feeling sad or angry. Next, acknowledge that one day things will get better. Time really does heal a broken heart, and the further you get from the actual breakup, the easier it will be to gain some perspective. A flu may have you feeling terrible, but you know it doesn't last forever. Neither does a broken heart. Start the healing process by taking care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, exercise and eat well and sensibly. It's not a time for junk food or for crash dieting. Don't just wallow in sadness. Stick to your regular schedule and maintain a social life with friends. Accept their support, but don't get stuck in stories of the breakup or how badly you're feeling. Get busy and enjoy yourself. Start a new hobby or restart an old one. Take a class. Go on a trip. Don't get caught in the rebound trap. Rather than rushing to develop a new romantic interest, take the time to get to know yourself again. Your goal in surviving a breakup is to minimize your pain and to put your life back on a solid footing. While giving your heart time to heal, find friends, activities and interests that aren't focused on the pain. Soon you'll find you're feeling better and ready to look for a new relationship that's right for you. "The Counseling Corner" is provided as a public service by the American Counseling Association, the nation's largest organization of counseling professionals. Learn more at www.counseling.org .
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