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COUNSELING CORNER The holiday season leaves many people feeling anxious as they face holiday office parties and social events they rather would avoid. That's understandable. While such events can be a great time to socialize with relatives, friends and co-workers, they also can lead to disaster. We've all heard, or experienced, the office party where someone did permanent damage to his or her reputation. Or that family gathering where Uncle Louie had one drink too many and decided to tell everyone what he really thought of them. If upcoming holiday celebrations have you feeling tense and seriously considering not attending, here are some suggestions to help make such events less stressful and more enjoyable: •Do go. Whether it's an office party, a family gathering or a neighborhood get together, it's good for you and your reputation to make an appearance. At the very least, show up early in the party, stay for a short time, and then thank your host and leave. That's better than being a no-show and you just might enjoy yourself and want to stay. •Skip the alcohol. Even one or two alcoholic drinks can affect your judgment, and poor judgment leads to most party disasters. Stick to juice or soft drinks and you'll lessen your chances of looking foolish or saying the wrong thing. •Plan ahead. Find out how others will dress and you'll feel less anxious about how you're dressing. If there will be gift giving, check out what gifts and dollar values are appropriate. Don't do gag gifts that will be embarrassing or risqué. •Avoid being critical. Negative comments at a party always get repeated later to all the wrong people. Venting frustrations at office parties almost always produces negative results. •Mind your manners. Don't overeat at the buffet table. Do remember to thank your host. •Avoid problem people. If you and a co-worker always clash, instead spend time with people you enjoy. If a relative always argues with you, simply refuse to respond and excuse yourself politely. There's no reason to fear or avoid the holiday party. It can and should be an enjoyable event, even when you feel "required" to attend. Just plan on staying sober and being polite and sociable, and you may just find it a pleasant experience. "The Counseling Corner" is provided as a public service by the American Counseling Association, the nation's largest organization of counseling professionals.
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