Stones Got No Satisfaction Over NFL Halftime Hubbub

The halftime show of the Super Bowl appears to be turning into NFL censors’ worst nightmares. For the second time in two years the music performance between halves of the National Football League’s most-watched contest has gotten more attention than the game itself.

Except on a few occasions, and unless one is an avid gridiron follower or a fan of one of the rival teams, most Super Bowls have never been as stimulating as the two weeks of hype that precede it. This year’s contest will most likely be remembered more for a few controversial calls that halted the Seattle Seahawks’ momentum and helped the Pittsburgh Steelers win football’s coveted championship for the fifth time than the lackluster game itself.

Before the hubbub about the on-field Super Bowl XL rulings died down, another much-ado-about-not-much furor arose that 90 million television viewers probably weren’t even aware of until the news media shoved it in the spotlight.

It seems the Rolling Stones, whose lead singer Mick Jagger jokingly pointed out before singing “Satisfaction” predated the first Super Bowl in 1967, violated an agreement with the NFL and its production company to keep their 12-minute halftime show wholesome and proper.

Jagger didn’t drop his pants or have a 2004 Janet Jackson-like wardrobe malfunction, but he recited a couple of double-entendre words in two of three songs (“Start Me Up” and the recent “Rough Justice”) the Stones performed that forced league censors to momentarily silence his microphone. (In this family-friendly newspaper, the closest I can come to repeating the bleeped words is that one was used above — in a completely different context — while the second is synonymous for a male fowl.)

Incidentally, two days before the Big Game, the Stones appeared at a press conference and a Jagger quip should have alerted the NFL to the possibility of what could happen at halftime. When a reporter asked Jagger if he was aware of network censorship rules, he said something like, “All I know is you can’t say @#!&% on television.”

Being a former entertainment public relations executive, including a yearlong stint with Mick and the Boys, it’s not too much of a stretch to suspect the Stones and NFL public relations machines created their own controversies. A primary PR maxim is that any publicity is good publicity.

By condemning what Jagger did this year, the NFL creates a buzz for next year. No matter who’s on stage in 2007, there’s gotta be some kind of curiosity about whether the performance will make a sailor blush. I suspect from now on, halftime performers will have to sign an agreement about keeping their act family-oriented or have a penalty deducted from their negotiated fee.

The Stones’ spokesperson said the halftime hubbub was “absolutely ridiculous and completely unnecessary.” It was also reported that she said “the band objected strenuously…but decided to go ahead with the show.”

The NFL, which ordered the snipping of the words, not ABC insists the Stones agreed to abide by their cautioning and knew the words in question would be censored.

What hypocrites! The 42-year-old song “Satisfaction,” which closed the Stones’ presentation, is about a man who is “tryin’ to make some girl” but “can’t get no girl action.” For the NFL honchos it must be the words that are more disturbing than any sexual connotation.

In order to avoid another halftime dilemma — whether it’s lyrics, wardrobe malfunctions or some other unfit-for-television occurrence — the NFL should resort to animated Disney characters. That would ensure wholesome family entertainment, unless some radical cartoonist shows Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse engaged in a graphic, animated ménage-a-trois.

Perhaps the current corporate NFL bigwigs are too young or have never seen the footage of Jagger’s first experience with American television network censors. When the Stones appeared on the Ed Sullivan show in 1964, they were admonished to modify a word from the title of the song, “Let’s Spend the Night Together” to “Let’s Spend Some Time Together.” Back then the Rolling Stones were considered rock’s rowdy boys — compared to the cleaner-cut image of The Beatles. Nevertheless, the Stones heeded the warning, but when he sang the altered lyric, Jagger rolled his eyes to mock the accord.

The Rolling Stones were last year’s top concert draw, thanks in part to the steep price of some of the tickets for their concerts. However, when they’re on tour, they consistently put on two hour-plus shows that are energetic, crowd-pleasing and entertaining.

The Stones — Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts and Ron Wood — are clever veterans and certainly no strangers to controversy. This latest hullabaloo could have been avoided by not performing, but then they would have had to relinquish what must have been a lucrative fee. Yet, despite their ages, this minor brouhaha invigorate the Stones’ reputation as rock and roll’s rowdy boys.

This latest Super Bowl incident should also have an impact on the status of the National Football League — as some of the biggest hypocrites around.