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The school year is half over, and I’ve seen little improvement in my son’s report card. I don’t want him to continue to be an average student. I’m not sure punishing him will help. Is there another way?

You’re right to ask this question now. The middle of the school year is a good time to assess your son’s progress. Consider asking your son’s teacher for a three-way conference among you, your son, and his teacher. Attempt to limit the focus of the discussion to the areas that you consider most important, perhaps reading and math, because they encompass the core skills to help him succeed in other areas like social studies and science. Once your son’s reading skills improve, it will be easier for him to read and understand both class work and homework assignments. For instance, because math and science are so closely related, you and your son may very well see some improvement in his science grades once his math skills improve. Perhaps you can also use this next half of the year to help him discover what’s important to him academically and help him grow in those areas.

Using rewards and incentives when you see improvements in his work are much more positive and useful than punishments like taking away something he’s good at or enjoys. Praising him for his efforts may help him understand you value his education. Success isn’t something anyone can simply wish for. If your son’s going to be an above average student, he’s going to have to work at it.

My daughter has great difficulty heading off to school after the weekend. Although she likes school, she has trouble getting ready in the morning and starts complaining that she hates school. This difficult behavior is particularly noticeable after a holiday break or a long weekend. I don’t know how to get her back on track and make the mornings around here easier for everyone.

First, try to find out if in fact she is happy at school. Ask her teacher if she’s fine during the day, or if her bad mood persists throughout the day.

If everything is okay at school, she may simply be having difficulty with the transition from the freedoms of a weekend or vacation to the structure of the school week. Try keeping the bedtime and waking hours as close as you can for both weekends and weekdays. That way, she will be used to getting up at the regular time and not feel the need for extra sleep.

You may also want to help her make the adjustment by setting her clothes out the night before with her and letting her know that you expect her to face the day with a smile, even if she’s feeling a little bit grumpy.

Try heading off the grumpiness by allowing her to suggest ways that may make mornings better for her. She may want a special breakfast or maybe just a few minutes together with you on the couch before you both set out in different directions.

Put some time in together on Sunday night making sure all her homework is finished and she has any necessary paper work or special items such as her library book packed in her book bag. Children must feel prepared to face the day; the way to accomplish that is to be sure they have everything they need.

Send questions to: Answers from the Teacher, P.O. Box 54, South Egremont, MA 01258. Questions may also be e-mailed to answersfromtheteacher@adelphia.net.

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