THE BIG GOODBYE

Dear Friends:

The days are winding down to precious few. Once the Assumption of Our Lady has been celebrated, it always seems to me that summer is practically over. All over the parish young people are getting ready to set off for college for the first time and their parents are very much involved in all the preparations for the departure. This is a happy and difficult time in the life of the family. Joe or Susan is excited about the big adventure and mom and dad want to be as helpful as possible-but there are anxieties! Kids may seem to be happy, but despite all the outward show of enthusiasm a number of them have worries. Will homesickness set in? How will the roommate be? Will I survive away from home? Many are, of course, far too cool or sophisticated to admit all this to their parents. The parents know nothing about these things since they finished college years ago.

The parents have their own set of problems. College is an indication that they are not the young married couple they once were. And college packing means that the nest is getting emptier. It may even dawn on them that they will miss yelling at their kids about the horrible music and its deafening quality. Mom and dad are going to be more alone than they were and the emptiness and quiet of the house will have its own difficulties. In a few days they may miss the car pooling, endless games, messy rooms and all the friends. The old homestead is going to be very different and then they worry about what is going on in college.

I have a suggestion. It would be a great idea for parents to take their college-bound kid out for a nice dinner in a relatively quiet restaurant. Without being too sentimental, tell Joe or Susan how much you love him or her and how terribly proud you are of all that has been achieved. And then make the point that no matter what happens, good, bad, or indifferent, you will always be there-no matter what! You are only a phone call away any time day or night. Then, give Joe or Susan a beautiful Miraculous Medal of the Blessed Mother and ask Joe or Susan to wear it all the time. (Make sure the medal has a great chain that won’t easily break!) Tell your young adult that the medal is a sign of the love the Blessed Mother of God has for him or her and a sign of your love as well. And then put it to Joe or Susan! Tell him or her in the most loving and direct way you can that you expect Mass every single Sunday and a college life that is one Jesus would approve of (If you are a little hesitant, just say that Father McDonald suggested the message and you think it’s a good idea anyway.)

And now for the freshman. Whatever you do before you go, tell mom and dad how grateful you are for all they have done. (The truth is they have sacrificed for you in many ways-more than you can even imagine.) Tell them you love them and that you will lift the phone and call frequently. It can’t hurt!

One last thing: (and this is for kids and parents) It is perfectly alright to cry when you say that good-bye at college or the front door of your house.

In Jesus and Mary,

Monsignor James M. McDonald