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Praise Them!
Dear Friends: Louis is a young man, married with three sons, and lives here on the Island. He is not a Catholic, but like so many others on the brink of the Church, he is involved in the life of the local parish church. Recently, he has made a somewhat significant change in his life and a change that is already impacting well on his family. Like any number of fathers, Louis found it easy to come home from work and find something to complain about. The kids’ rooms were messy, the music was too loud. There were always plenty of reasons to criticize and tell the boys that they were wrong and definite improvement was needed. Several weeks ago Louis decided to try to avoid the usual criticism and the carping about all that was imperfect. Almost immediately he noticed a subtle change in them. They were happier, he and his wife were happier; the home was a better place. Instead of constantly nagging and complaining, Louis decided to look at all the good things his sons were doing. He’ll probably always want cleaner rooms and less volume from the stereos but he is not letting the small stuff get him down. There is a tendency in the best of us to find fault and stew over things that don’t really matter that much. The day will come when Louis’ house is immaculate and the rooms of his three sons are spick and span and empty. It may well be that when that day arrives, Louis will long for the good old days of messy rooms and terrible music. All of us could look at our own lives and see if we are spending too much time grousing, complaining and worrying about trifles instead of seeing the good. We might be very much surprised at the attention we devote to things that don’t matter in the long run. Louis is practicing, although he may not realize it, a very fine principle enunciated by St. Paul: "And parents, never drive your children to resentment but bring them up with correction and advice inspired by the Lord. (Eph 6:4) As parents, teachers and priests, we have the most magnificent opportunity to be agents of peace and encouragement for young people. We can build them up or make life unpleasant by stressing the weak points. We need to recall when we were young and how bad it was for us to receive adverse criticism. We hated it. On the other hand, when we were praised we felt much better about life and did well. Summer is just beginning and we have a whole period of time to take a more relaxed look at ourselves. Why not follow the example of Louis and emphasize the positive qualities in people? They will be a lot happier and so will we. Jesus always made it a point to bring out the best in people. We should do the same! In Jesus and Mary, Monsignor James M. McDonald Monsignor McDonald is the pastor of St. Matthew R.C. Church in Dix Hills, Long Island.
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