Through The Ropes
By Josh Stewart

This search for a new RAW diva is dangerous for America’s future.

Not because it will scar children’s brains or desensitize us on the proper way to treat women. It’s just that my wife keeps having to hide all the sharp objects in our place for fear that I’ll eventually take the easy way out to avoid this drivel.

The search itself doesn’t bother me, if you’re looking for talent. By talent, I mean someone who can perform a moonsault or a spin heel kick, not someone who has become adept at self-applying Botox.

But from the time the search be-gan, the fitness-model types who could be developed for ring wars and look good in a swimsuit were shown the door. Those who advanced looked, well, malnourished and fragile.

On the short term, World Wrestling Entertainment will grab some coin off of this, thanks to the special the company agreed upon with Spike TV to crown the champion. But it’s all a sham, as the winner’s most important duties will be signing autographs at car shows and baring her midriff in Stacker 2 commercials.

One finalist has already agreed to be in next year’s Lingerie Bowl, the pay-per-view event that mixes panties with pigskins. Playing full-contact football in her skivvies is the kind of thing WWE still thinks most of its fans want.

And if it is, the Mrs. will have a lot of hiding to do for the rest of the year.

Best (And Worst) Of The Rest:

• History has shown that stripping someone of a title, for the most part, doesn’t entertain anybody. So why did John Cena lose his U.S. strap on SmackDown! for accidentally clocking Kurt Angle? I guess it just re-minds me of the old World Champi-onship Wrestling days, when Eric Bischoff passed around belts like they were after-dinner mints. The fans in attendance were angry, but they weren’t just booing because Cena lost the belt, which would have been natural. They were whining because they felt cheated out of a good finish, and in this case, they had every right to whine away.

• Thank goodness that Triple H went ahead and ended his friendship with Eugene on RAW. The whole "honorary member of Evolution" thing was cute, but I’m glad it didn’t go on for two months. That being said, Eugene bleeding in the ring was a little icky. I have no problems with blood, but if you’re going to do a storyline about a mentally challenged wrestler (which is borderline as it is), keep it light and fluffy. Even feigning the beating of a special-needs person is over the line.

• Rhyno and Tajiri as a tag-team? Sweet! I love seeing a little guy/big guy combo. Reminds me of what one of the best tag-teamers ever, Arn An-derson, said about his partnership with Tully Blanchard: "I’m his power, he’s my speed."

• And I was convinced a few years ago that Eddie Guerrero would never be more than a mid-carder. Shame on me! His El Grande Luchador gimmick on the 7/9 SmackDown! was classic. His ability to be funny one week and have people in tears the next reminds me of Angle. And that’s saying a lot!

You can contact Josh Stewart at throughtheropes1@cs.com.