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Through The Ropes
How fitting that the "Draft Lottery" happened in Detroit. You know, "Hockeytown U.S.A." and capital of street violence, where in adolescence learning to throw a beer bottle is as much a rite of passage as learning to throw a slow curve. That is where World Wrestling Entertainment and Vince McMahon chose to, in his words, "shake things up." The end was a classic melee of 60 men, each wearing his brand’s colors, trying to dislocate something from somebody else. You’d hate to use a Crips vs. Bloods tie-in, but one side wore blue, the other sported red and the turf consisted of ringside. Had it been a hockey fight, the refs would have tried to clear sides and add up penalty minutes, but eventually would have become fed up and jumped into the free-for-all themsel-ves. Did you see it? Were you thrilled at viewing the most thrilling finish (including pay-per-views) in years? Were you just a little nervous that a few thousand of Joe Louis Arena’s finest patrons might "storm the court," to borrow from the NCAAs, and enter the madness? I was, and that’s why I consider the 3/22 edition of RAW one of Mc- Mahon’s crown achievements. Let’s all even make a pact to forgive WWE for creating the dumbest name for a great event of all time. Draft Lottery? They do that in the NBA, but they have a lottery to set the draft order, then people pick based on their wants and needs. Since Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman were randomly picking names, there was no drafting at all. But it was a little bit like announcing free soup for the poor, then stuffing T-bone steak down their throats when they get to the kitchen. Truth in advertising? Who cares? The show had something for every-body. Triple H gets snatched up by Smackdown!, and his former RAW mates serenade his departure with glee. After H’s behind-the-scenes political lobbying for his own benefit, the fun was trying to figure out which superstars were just acting, and which ones were singing with utter sincerity. And you know when a show is a good show? When it doesn’t end, even after it ends. Heyman’s the last "draftee" for RAW, and after Bischoff goes over some of Heyman’s new duties (laundry, car-washing, etc.), the former Extreme Championship Wrestling head honcho quits. Which prompts the following state-ment from McMahon on wwe.com soon after: "Earlier tonight, Paul Heyman - the former General Manager of Smack-down! - was drafted by RAW and subsequently quit. Therefore, due to the absence of a GM on Smack-down!, I have extended the trading deadline to 9 p.m. ET Tuesday, at which time a new GM of Smack-down! will be announced, and that new GM of Smackdown! will in fact announce all trades. Thank you." No Vince, thank you! Thank you for using your multimedia savvy to keep the buzz going nearly 24 hours after the show ended. Brilliant! Rob Van Dam’s now on Smack-down! and Edge is on RAW. But no matter what superstar is where, it is useless unless they’re given some good material for them to run with. If you can’t make a mark when WWE gets this creative, go sell in-surance! You can contact Josh Stewart at throughtheropes1@cs.com.
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