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This Week’s
‘Twas The Christmas Before Election 2004... The following is a parody of "‘Twas the Night Before Christmas or An Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas," by Major Henry Livingston Jr. ‘Twas the Christmas before election, Was still quite muddled, in a very sorry state. As hopefuls’ campaigns mounted and They hoped the next face-off would be In the meantime Republicans were snug While visions of 2004 wins danced in their heads. The First Lady in a nightie, the Prez in a cap, Had just settled down for a winter night’s nap. When on the White House lawn Dubya sprang from the First Bed to see to the matter. To the large window he flew in a flash, He saw the moon shining brightly Giving a luster to all the monuments around. He then did a double take and As he spied his Dem opponents With a haggard ol’ driver looking meek as a lamb, He suddenly realized they hired Saddam. Swifter than eagles his opponents they came, He whistled and shouted and called "Hey, Dean! Hey, Lieberman! Braun, Sharpton and Kerry, Have you stopped by to give me some worry? ‘Cause if you’ve come here tonight to Then dash away, dash away it’ll just But after a moment, he heard some more noise, Making a ruckus like bad little boys. He listened more closely then turned Down the chimney came Hillary with a She was dressed in fake fur from her Her Madison Avenue duds all tarnished with soot. A bundle of goodies she towed in a sack, And looked like a peddler when she Her eyes — how they twinkled —as if she’d something in mind, Her intentions, Bush knew, would Her thin, little mouth had a sneer like a thief Bush had a sense she’d cause some mischief. Then Hil broadly grinned, looking quite intent, But Bush lacked a clue of what this all meant; She tore open the sack with a look that was mad, And shouted to him, "Here’s your Florida chads!" He giggled and laughed like some jolly old elf, And stared at her keenly, in spite of himself; With a wink of an eye and a hint of a gloat, He told her plainly, "Scram, missy, get He then nonchalantly walked back to his bed, When Hillary screamed, so he turned his head. She had a surly look when she struck Then gave him a nod and up the She leapt into the sleigh and gave the And away they all flew in an arc like a missile. Bush heard them exclaim, as they drove "SEE YOU IN NOVEMBER, WE’RE GONNA GIVE YOU A FIGHT!"
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